Monday, January 4, 2010

Goody two shoes, goody goody two shoes

When I was a teenager I had a keychain that read"I only look sweet and innocent". I felt like that phrase fit me to a tee. It made me feel dangerous and mysterious. While I really wasn't all that dangerous and I was pretty naive, I did NOT want to be classified as "sweet and innocent". Ewww!

So, in an attempt to be less sweet and more ummm, something; I did some pretty stupid things. Nothing that would cause lifelong consequences but nothing that I would want my kids to do either. As I reflect back on that time in my life I wonder why I thought it was so awful to be thought of as "good". I guess I thought it was boring and that interesting people would never look past the good girl image.

Fast forward about 10 years. After some hard lessons and soul searching I realize that I should want to be good. That having skeletons in the closet is not always something that makes you more interesting. Sometimes it is better to have just done things the right way.

Fast forward to now. Most people would probably classify me as nice and sweet. I really do want to be that transparent, childlike person that you can always count on to do what is right but I still get a thrill when people learn something about me and are a little shocked. I still like to think of myself as mysterious and multi faceted but I also have a sincere desire to stay on the straight and narrow path.

I guess the reason I have been thinking about this at all is that I look at my kids and I want them to want to be good. I don't want to force them, I want them to realize that happiness comes from making right choices even if other people consider you a "goody two shoes". I don't want them to struggle with what other people might think, I want them to have a strong enough sense of self that other's opinions don't matter. Isn't that what being a parent is about? Wanting more for your kids than what you had? I guess the catch is just trying to help them get somewhere you haven't been.

(Featured lyrics from Goody Two Shoes by Adam Ant)

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