Saturday, December 10, 2011

Seriously!

More than a year ago was the last time I posted-shameful! It's not that nothing was going on, it's that too much was going on for me to process. I also spent a good part of last year in a funk, having my own little pity party. Pretty sad. I didn't even realize that's what I was doing until I heard someone describe me so perfectly that the lights finally went on. (That person was actually referring to someone else). Basically I was so completely focused on my own trials and struggles that it prevented me from reaching out to anyone else around me. I wanted people to notice that I was struggling but at the same time, I was terrified that someone would notice that I was struggling. Complicated, huh. Thankfully, I pulled my head out and things are changing. I am excited for the holidays, I am excited to serve those around me and I feel like I am breathing fresh clean air instead of stale dingy air.
I'm not sure I'm feeling up to a recap of the last year, so for now I'm just moving ahead. Christmas is almost here-only 15 more days! While I'm not exactly ready for it, I am still excited for the time I will get to spend with my family-relaxing, eating and being together. Ashton is the only one who is unsure about Santa. He tried to convince me that Santa isn't real, but I wasn't having it. I even sent him a video "from" Santa to try and postpone the inevitable. I think it's working for now. It will be kind of sad when we get to that point where no one wants to wake up early on Christmas morning though.
In September Jason rode in Lotoja, which is a 206 mile cycling race form Logan Utah to Jackson Hole Wyoming. He is crazy enough to want to do it again this year, so he decided to do a winter cycling camp to help him stay in shape and get stronger. As part of the camp, he has a temporary membership at the Treehouse Athletic Club. It was cheap to add me on as well, so for the last month I have been going to the gym several times a week. The classes are awesome for me because I lack the self motivation required to make myself do things that are physically hard. When I go to a class, there is pressure to keep up with the other people as well as pressure to not look like a complete wimp. Perfect for me! My favorite class is a Zumba class on thursday nights. I go with my friend Merrilee and I look forward to it all week. It is the perfect combination of exercise and dance club. I'm pretty sure I look ridiculous-in fact I laugh everytime I look in the mirror, but I love it. I try to go to a class at least 3 times a week, so I have been able to try many different things. My other favorite is a class called Raising the Barre which is sort of a ballet/dance based workout. I definitely feel the effects of those exercise endorphins and I love the fact that I am in better shape; well working on being in better shape.
Now that I've broken the silence, I'm thinking it will be easier to start posting again. The hardest part is getting back on the horse, right? Let's hope.

2 comments:

Sheri said...

Glad to get some insight into your life. Life sometimes knocks us down...and then eventually we know we have to get back up and get to living. I go to Zumba too...on my bucket list: Look good while doing Zumba! No worries though, I am my own favorite person to laugh at! Love you friend.

Jen said...

Struggling??? I wouldn't have known it. I don't know if that is a good or bad thing. I'm sorry I hadn't noticed, I was kind of self-absorbed as well. Having my own little pity-party. Hope you are feeling better now. Why do we hold onto those feelings instead of asking for help? Women are complicated and very funny at times. I'm still trying to figure myself out. Good advice to look forward though and look toward better things. Let me know if you need anything.